October..

It's October. I don't know how to describe my feeling right now. The younger was like sensing something. I don't know weather it is good or bad but to be honest with you, it's been a year I had crushed on him. Till now I still don't know is he felt the same way like I did. I wish he is. I just don't know how to confess. I was so afraid that he'll reject me. I'm not that brave enough. It' been a year and that was a long period that I had ever crush on someone. Why is it so hard for me to do so arh?..Is it because of his eldest?...But he and his eldest were totally different! I just don't know. 
Allah, guide me. Guide me.. T____T